My family and I were part of a healthy church. It felt too self-serving and … complicated. I’ve thought about writing this article for years, but I never could do so while serving within a local church. I now focus on caring for and investing in hungry kingdom leaders-mostly pastors and church planters. I transitioned out of my pastoral role in the local church about a year ago. And, if you’re wondering, I’d love some gift cards to Starbucks”? Of course not. Before I begin my sermon, I want to remind you this month is Pastor Appreciation Month. Can you imagine your pastor stepping up to the pulpit on Sunday and saying, “Good morning, church. Doing so would seem grossly self-serving. Pastors who serve with proper motives feel like they can’t say anything about Pastor Appreciation Month-especially to those in their own churches. I was also struck by another thought: How was the congregation supposed to know he was in such need of encouragement? Pastors feel conflicted about Pastor Appreciation Month. But during that phone call, I realized that one of the greatest gifts someone in his church could have given him at that moment would have been a simple, hand-written card or a quick text of gratitude for his faithfulness to the congregation. “As long as people are pleased,” he told me, “they say nothing.” He felt invisible, like his congregation was taking him for granted. He wasn’t fishing for compliments or looking to be congratulated, but he couldn’t hide his disappointment. When I asked my friend how he was doing he said, “Another year, another Pastor Appreciation Month …” his voice trailing off into silence. Last year a pastor called me on November 1. And chances are, your pastor is thinking about it this month. No, it’s not an official holiday, but it is nationally recognized, like Boss Appreciation Day and Administrative Assistant Day. They grounded the celebration in Paul’s words to Timothy: “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching” (1 Tim. Pastor Appreciation Month (originally called Clergy Appreciation Month) was established in 1992 by a group of pastors and church leaders to honor those who serve in ministry. Whether or not your church recognizes Pastor Appreciation Month, it’s on your pastor’s mind. Here are a few things your pastor is probably thinking, but won’t tell you during Pastor Appreciation Month. Now that I’m no longer serving in that role, I want to share an insider’s perspective about your pastor’s sacred yet difficult calling. I served as a local church pastor for 15 years. But it’s also full of tension: intense conflict, unrealistic expectations, relational strain, and, at times, soul-aching loneliness. Ministry is an amazing call, full of great joys and significant moments in people’s lives: officiating weddings, presiding over funerals, seeing first-hand how lives are changed for Christ. After all of that I am now convinced the two most difficult jobs in the world are these-one, to be President of the United States, and two, to be the leader of a church. Over the years I have made a career out of studying the most challenging management roles out there. It’s why leadership guru Peter Drucker said this: I mean, when am I not a pastor?” This always-on, week-in, week-out grind takes a toll on pastors and their families. “It was my day off,” he said, “but I don’t really have a day off. I asked the pastor how he felt in that moment. Forty-five minutes later, they finally parted ways. Each question from the pastor uncovered five new frustrations. The congregant shared a number of difficult things happening in the church and in his own spiritual life. You can probably guess what happened-a short greeting turned into a much longer conversation. After checking out, he bumped into a congregant in the parking lot. He was shopping at Home Depot, quickly grabbing a few items for a home project. October is Pastor Appreciation Month, bringing with it a complex mix of conflicting thoughts and emotions for most pastors.Ī few weeks ago, I spoke with a pastor friend about his recent day off. You may not know it, but this is a significant month for your pastor.
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